It’s Amazing What You Get When You Ask For It…

I think I got a cool gig today. An editor at a new European magazine dedicated to Art and Fashion put out a call for contributors, people who would write about Fashion and art and that sort of thing, of course. So I replied, asking her if she would be interested in a regular column about the Business side of Fashion (since I’m seeking clients in that field). She hadn’t thought about that, she said, but yes, it sounded quite interesting! Now, just like that, it looks like I’ll have a column where I get to be an expert in front of thousands of potential clients, at a cost of…nothing but my my time. How did I get it? I asked for it, and sent her some samples, and made a case.

A few weeks back, during Chicago Fashion Focus, there was a reception at a firm that provides various back office services to local designers. I wanted to go, but it was sold out. The owner of the firm was tweeting about it, so I responded, saying it looked like fun and wanted to come, but I couldn’t get a ticket. She invited me. How did I get it? I asked for it. 

I’m really tall, so when I fly, I always ask for an exit row seat, because they have extra leg room.  They usually give it to me unless all those seats have been sold as upgrades. How do I get exit row seats? I ask for it. Then, after I get it, I send a tweet to my airline thanking the gate agent by name.

I got a foamy Dr Who Dalek hat for my daughter at South by SouthWest, after they were all given away, because a guy had one and didn’t look interested in it, and I asked him for it so I could give it to my daughter, who would love it. He said yes. i thanked him profusely. I would have bought him a drink, but the drinks were free. How did I get it….?

Can you spot the trend? I get all kinds of crazy stuff for no other reason than I ask for it, and I express gratitude and kindness (whether I get it or not).

Now, a lot of the time, I don’t get what I want. That’s life. Oh well, sometimes you try harder, sometimes you let go and move on. But you don’t get this stuff if you don’t ask. You just don’t. So ask. You’ll get a lot of NOs, but you’ll get some YESses, and that’s awesome, just be gracious, and be sure to pay it back or pay it forward when you can.

If you want to practice, ask for something in the comments, perhaps a reader or I can fulfill it for you!

(Disclaimer: those are not my feet, the picture above is from the internet)


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Dave is trained at the Coaches Training Institute and certified by the International Coaching Federation. He has worked with dozens of clients to achieve remarkable results, including revenue growth, clearer strategic direction, enhanced leadership, and promotions to positions of greater responsibility. You can learn more about him at or follow him at @DarkMatterCon, or GooglePlus.

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