In Order To Lead Others, First Master Yourself

I recently came across this article in Fortune by Cleve Stevens, entitled “To Lead, First Master Your Unconscious.” He expresses one of the foundations of coaching, psychology and personal growth brilliantly: that we all have unconscious beliefs that we picked up in the past that are causing us trouble in the present, and that in order to improve our performance in the present, we need to become aware of them, challenge them, and change them. Here is a great quote from the article:

“Over the past two decades, working with executives and their companies as a transformational leadership consultant, I have found that when senior executives begin to address their unconscious leadership issues and in the process become conscious of the degree to which they, like all of us, are unconscious, amazing things begin to happen.”

He gives a wonderful example of  CEO who misinterprets an offhand remark as an attack and gets triggered, that is, he loses his perspective and control over his emotions and becomes defensive and hostile. A leader in this position is less able to lead, and more likely to do damage to himself / herself  and the organization. We all have these triggers, and they cause us and our colleagues and loved ones no end of suffering. The good news is that we can examine them, make them conscious, and learn to recognize them and defuse them. That allows us to better maintain our sense of self-control, which allows us to better maintain our control of the situation (hence, the title of the post, right?) It can be hard to notice our own triggers, we assume we are just reacting to “reality,” when in fact we are overreacting to a painful situation from our past we probably don’t even remember. That’s where a good Executive Coach can come in </begin tooting own horn>, by helping you notice those triggers, dig up those old beliefs, and replace them with new beliefs so that you become a better leader and better person. A by-product of this process is that coaching at work often leads to improved relationships with family and friends, too, since you are probably struggling with the same conflicts at home as at work.<end horn-tooting, thanks for indulging me!> Then the process of change begins. How does that work? Mr Stevens explains it in this way:

“First, leaders take specifically chosen, repeatable actions that they otherwise would likely avoid, thus allowing themselves to begin to experience life more expansively, again and again. Second and simultaneously, leaders who are truly committed to changing their minds establish a brief daily practice of focused, disciplined, rigorous thinking, specifically tailored to address their limiting beliefs and to strengthen their more accurate self-understanding. Despite how it may sound, there is nothing fluffy or New Age in this. It is about strong, no-nonsense declarative assertions of the truth as it actually is.”

Basically, if you change your thoughts, you change your actions, you change your reality. Pretty cool, huh? That’s what I love about my business, that by helping my clients to become more powerful and effective leaders, more aligned with their core values and their sense of mission and calling, the I make the world a better place. Is that something you want for yourself? Email me for a complimentary strategy session and we can start uncovering your unconscious beliefs. It’s the first step towards becoming an amazing leader.