Beliefs and Conflict

Beliefs  create experience. That is something most coaches and psychologists would say. This is especially true when we look at our beliefs about Conflict. If you hold a belief that conflict is somehow inherently bad or negative, then your experience of conflict will be unpleasant, you will avoid it, and when you can’t avoid it, you will likely either cave in to or bully the other person in order to get it over with. You may find yourself being passive/aggressive, because you can’t “win” the conflict, yet you still want what you want and need what you need. This damages business and social relationships. You may resent others who are more willing than you to engage in conflict, especially if you tend to give in, so that you see them as “winning” at your expense. Yet conflict is an integral part of all relationships. It’s part of human existence, and limiting beliefs about conflict will diminish your experience of life and success. What if you saw conflict not as pain to be avoided, or even a necessary evil, but as a way to reach a creative solution together? What if you saw it as a way to build trust with the other person? How would that change your experience of conflict? Of life? Which belief leaves you feeling better, that conflict creates losers, or that conflict builds trust and creativity?